I was raised in Southern California with two older sisters. Our grandmother introduced us to witchcraft at a young age. She gave us incantation books and taught us how to cast spells. We would do seances with our friends down the street, and we thought this was normal. As I grew older, my dad had taken it a step further. Not only was he involved in the occult, but he got involved in satanism. My dad introduced me to drugs for the very first time when I was only nine years old. By the time I was 11, I was addicted to these drugs, and I was a willing participant in the occult activity.
By the time I turned 17 years old, I had decided to run away from home. I dropped out of school thinking there had to be a better way. I didn’t know what I was searching for exactly, but I knew that I had a desire in my heart for someone to love me. Living in California at the time, and in pursuit of this longing, I ran to Washington State. Still addicted to drugs, I did whatever I could to get the drugs without having to turn back to my dad. He always seemed to catch up with me and had people watching to keep tabs on me.
“I had a desire in my heart for someone to love me.”
I ended up getting married and having a son. I thought that changing my identity would keep my family from finding me. I was still an addict; I was prostituting myself at night and being a mother to my son during the day. I tried to keep custody of my son because he was the only person who loved me unconditionally. That lasted for about a year and a half, and my husband filed for divorce.
I lived in the front seat of my car and had a part-time job trying to cover up my lifestyle. The authorities caught up with me within two weeks, and I lost total custody of my son without visitation. Part of my heart left that day when they took my son. I began prostituting myself again. I ended up in Texas, met someone else, and tried to continue to change my identity. I got together with him and had a little girl. My dad showed up at my front door about three weeks after I had moved to Texas. And once again, that vicious cycle just continued. I was pretty much convinced at the time that there was no way out of this lifestyle. My husband and I ended up divorcing, and shortly after, I received custody of my little girl. I moved in with my sister, who had just gotten out of the psychiatric hospital.
One night, as I lay in my bed, I felt something nudge the bottom of my bed. I sat up and saw about an eight-foot-tall, hooded figure standing at the edge of my bed. He pointed to me and said, “It’s time.” I did not understand what that meant. After all my involvement in the occult, I had never encountered an entity like this before. I knew that this was something significant. He continued, “It’s time now for you to teach your daughter what your grandmother taught you.” Little did I know that my grandmother had passed away three weeks prior. I knew at this moment a continued cycle was supposed to go from my grandmother to myself to my children.
An Unexpected Find
I knew this was a supernatural fight, and I had to do something to protect my daughter. The only way I knew to save her was to take my life. My daughter would then be adopted by a normal family who could show her a way of life that I never could.
I remember going out to a remote area in a field and sitting in the front seat of my car. As I sat there, I was sobbing and leaned my seat back. I had a razor blade in one hand, and my other hand fell to the side in between my seat and my console. I felt something. I picked it up, and it was a Testament from The Gideons.
I had gotten my car from a drug dealer. I knew he wasn’t a Christian, and I had never seen this Testament in the several years I had been driving the car. I started thumbing through the Testament, and I put the razor blade down. I got to the back pages and saw a sample prayer. I read the prayer aloud, and I gave my life to Jesus Christ that day—I have never been the same!
All the way home to pick up my daughter, I was reciting this prayer—I must have said it 25 times. It’s the only prayer I knew, but I kept saying it over and over because it brought me such comfort. The love that I had searched for all my life was just one prayer away. At that moment, I felt a passion in my heart that I had never experienced. I knew that God was close. I went home and grabbed my little girl with so much excitement.
The next day, I called my former father-in-law. He was the only person I knew who was remotely connected to Christianity. He knew I was in a spiritual battle; this was not a physical battle that I could fight. He said, “Please come to Texas; I want you to be part of our fellowship. You are going to need a family of God to support you and teach you how to fight this war.” The next day, he paid for our ticket to Texas. We stayed with him and his wife for about three years. I was like a sponge absorbing God’s Word.
Redeemed by His Grace
I left everything behind. My family had excommunicated me because I was serving Jesus. I knew I had to sacrifice everything—my car, apartment, and all that I owned. I was fearful because I had no idea what to expect, but I knew I did not want to return to my old lifestyle. I had the Holy Spirit living in me, my daughter in my arms, and I was ready to sacrifice everything I needed for Jesus. From this point on, God was working behind the scenes the whole time. He was preparing a godly man for me, one familiar with helping people coming out of occult backgrounds. He and I ended up getting married in 2005. We now pastor a church in Garland, Texas, ministering to people who have similar backgrounds as myself.
My daughter is now almost 31 years old, and she has never cast a spell in her life. She is our worship leader; her husband is our youth pastor. I am a first-generation Christian. My daughter is the second generation, and her children are just going to carry that on until the end of time. We no longer live under those generational curses because God has redeemed us. If it were not for God using The Gideons International, I would not be here—it is only by His grace.